The Observer is our Mirror
We are constantly processing information through our senses in a sort of developmental feedback loop. From an early age it crafts our behaviour, helping us to manage our responses, control our emotions, and sustain our attention. The feedback we collate from our own thoughts and actions helps us make sense of the world around us; we are all observers.
Processing feedback from another observer can be difficult. It can trigger emotional responses we did not anticipate and find tricky to control. Take for example:
A boss who gives feedback that seems to lack empathy or acknowledgement of the whole situation
A friend who gives feedback that takes you off guard
A teacher who gives feedback you didn’t expect, with seemingly no regard for the effort you put in
This sort of feedback is personal.
It does not sum you up as a person though. More often than not it is about something you have done, an action you have taken. It speaks to an aspect of your person that someone believes needs attention. How feedback is delivered is crucial here. What sort of packaging does it come in?
The observer might see their feedback as supportive, yet the recipient takes a differing view. The observer must take care in how feedback is packaged, and the recipient must be open to unwrapping it and using it for what it is - not a personal attack, but an observation that is meant to support reflection and growth.
The observer is our mirror, they reflect what we cannot see without them. However, with support and practice, it is possible to observe yourself better, to become a mirror with the right frame of mind. That is not to say we reach a point where we don’t need others, but that we can be mindful of how and why we reflect in the first place - to understand how we relate to one another, so that we can change ourselves for the better.
